Indian wisdom tells us that we are all part of a vast multiplicity, one in essence but each distinct in the cosmic play. Each part, Sri Aurobindo says, is a portion of the Divine. This unique element is intrinsic to every one of us. That is why, I feel, the Mother gives us all a particular path to follow. I believe that She lays this destiny so that the hidden attributes of our individual nature can step forward. To walk this path is to live in the Truth, to fulfil our role in the divine manifestation. Perhaps that is why She said, “Cling to Truth(2).” because to live in one’s truth, to live in harmony, means to organise one’s whole being around it. When that happens, I find my whole being gets uplifted. When my entire being is in alignment with this truth, I can walk this path in love and joy.
Living here, I can see why the Mother laid such emphasis on the need for harmony. I feel that Her Force is entirely directed in each one of us for realising this aim: to manifest our inner truth. When I live in consonance with this energy, harmony reigns and a greater lightness and plasticity pervades the body. A feeling of expansion emerges. I no longer require proof of this. Repeated experience has eradicated any doubt. When I am able to rise to a state of inner alignment, the body spontaneously changes. A sense of strength and vigour returns. But I must give myself entirely and repeatedly to this Force, because when I don’t, resistance appears and something unpleasant jars inside. When that happens, the body cramps and suffers. I’ve burnt virtually all my boats: this Force is my only refuge now.
I find that the ordinary mind can be a considerable barrier to this process. Harmony is not a compromise which this part of the mind is only best able to achieve. Harmony cannot be coerced too. I feel that it is a natural condition which somehow some of us seem to have lost. I don’t know whether we are entirely born into this state as there are so many negative patterns which run extremely deep, perhaps even before our birth, but there is no doubt that as we get older, these grooves get steadily reinforced and we become more rigid. Our resistance to the Divine Force solidifies. I believe these patterns are what govern the lives of most of humanity and as man lives almost entirely on the surface these grooves become more and more entrenched. When we observe children at play on the other hand, we witness a play of harmony. We see spontaneity in action and there is no sense of restriction or inhibition. Indeed, when we witness animals in the wild we witness harmony too, in a more exterior form perhaps, but one totally in tune with the rhythms of Nature. Man, on the other hand I feel, has the capacity to raise himself to a higher vibration. He can discover an inner harmony by realising and manifesting his inner truth. That, I feel, is the basis of the work that the Mother gives him.
The way to harmony
“The ordinary human being is conscious only in his physical being, and only in relatively rare moments is he conscious of his mind, just a little more frequently of his vital, but all this is mixed up in his consciousness, so much so that he would be quite unable to say ‘This movement comes from the mind, this from the vital, this from the physical.’ This already asks for a considerable development in order to be able to distinguish within oneself the source of the different movements one has. And it is so mixed that even when one tries, at the beginning it is very difficult to classify and separate one thing from another(3).”
The Mother then provides a most appropriate image:
“It is as when one works with colours, takes three or four or five different colours and puts them in the same water and beats them up together, it makes a grey, indistinct and incomprehensible mixture, you see, and one can’t say which is red, which blue, which green, which yellow; it is something dirty, lots of colours mixed. So first of all one must do this little work of separating the red, blue, yellow, green putting them like this, each in its corner. It is not at all easy(4).”
However, if one is sincere in achieving this aim, I feel this is a work that cannot be avoided. A constant vigilance is required, a vast will. Ultimately, though, I find help is always at hand and, simply by asking for it, the Mother’s guiding hand invariably comes forward. We all have one gift at our disposal, our awareness, and I do find that in time this awareness becomes sharper and more single-pointed. I simply try to observe and each movement is eventually traced back to its source.
The Mother says that an inner harmony must be established and, to reach that state, all that stands in its way must be observed. One must first be conscious of the inner condition:
“Look for the inner causes of disharmony much more than the outer ones. It is the inside which governs the outside(5).”
At this point, I keep in mind the Mother’s words:
“An illness of the body is always the outer expression and translation of a disorder, a disharmony in the inner being; unless this inner disorder is healed, the outer cure cannot be total and permanent(6).”
Again, I feel, it is the searchlight of our awareness that provides the key. Healing, I feel, comes through clarity, by seeing things as they truly are and, generally speaking, when I manage to keep the true poise, I can see clearly inside.
I observe the outer frontiers of my being, the gross body, and through that I obtain a reflection of all that is happening within. Ultimately, all I can do is watch and I believe it is better not to actually seek change. For me, that can even sometimes imply a judgment on my part. It is not a question of enhancing the ‘good’ and weeding out the ‘bad’. It is rather my understanding that some things are simply not in their right place. It is rather a matter of internal reorganisation, but really, it is not ‘me’ ‘doing’ it: something much greater takes over.
So I invariably call Sri Aurobindo and the Mother before I do this work. I then start scanning from the top, above the head and gradually work my way down, stopping and particularly observing each energy centre. I try to connect with what the body is trying to tell me. I find everything is stored there. Sooner or later a vivid picture emerges and I come across images which are sometimes comprised of colours and shapes; they often emit particular sensations or vibrations. What I often witness is not particularly pleasant. I know that there are dark secret caverns inside me which are still starved of light. I don’t feel one can squirm in this work: one must courageously face what is inside. It is better not to judge too.
I may sometimes find one particular area may stand out and call my attention. I will pause there for as long as necessary. Some times though, a disorder may try to hold itself back, hiding in a corner, trying to avoid my gaze. An intense vigilance is required, not a mental concentration, but a gaze illuminated by Her dazzling torch. It is all a matter of contact. I feel I have to simultaneously immerse myself in Her Presence whilst acutely observing the body.
Only that way, I feel, can matter and Spirit
ultimately become one.
When I witness a knot or distortion, I probe still deeper at that point and observe its nature. I enquire into its source. I go as deep into its centre as I can. The searchlight of consciousness inevitably brings with it a knowledge. As I hold my gaze, this awareness appears spontaneously. If it doesn’t, I try to relax and ask the Mother for help. I offer and leave it to Her wisdom to give me the clarity. I find it helps to articulate what I see out loud. With this expression, the distortion disappears: it is as simple as that. It is as if the Mother were presenting me with the key to another door. When that door opens, I can expand into a new and higher level of harmony.
I have discovered that as one element of disharmony dissolves, it often leads to an opening for another, still deeper one, to emerge. The same patterns often return again and again, though in a different guise, with successive sittings. These are the grooves of nature, negative formations that often come from outside but which evidently acquire some resonance from within. Their effect is to make the body wither and shrink. Many of them go far back into my childhood. At times it can seem an interminable work. But my role is to merely observe. It is by focusing on a particular area of the body that the Mother’s work unfolds. By diverting my attention onto an element of disharmony, it is almost as if the Mother then plucks that ‘object’ out by its very roots!
When there is a free flow of Light and Force radiating down through the body, total harmony is restored. It is a harmony which is always characterised by an exquisite rapture. It is quite outside the vocabulary of mental comprehension: I feel it is the beginnings of soul embracing matter as wholeness is restored.
From experience, I have observed how this process makes such a difference to the body. When I feel clear, in a state of harmony, a new poise and solidity is restored to my steps. There is a sense of joy in being alive and moving in this body. But I feel the process must be constantly reinforced and persistence is essential as nature will always try to recover what she has reluctantly forfeited. But I do believe that a new Force can gradually settle into the fibres of the body. It can take time for the inner harmony to consolidate in the physical form. So there are no shortcuts here: the work can never be rushed. This calls to mind the Mother’s own words:
“One goes much faster when he is not in a hurry.
To really move forward, one should feel, with complete confidence, that eternity lies before him (7).”
An enduring patience is always required. But I trust that the body itself can finally be taught a new way: the way of harmony.
One hears of realised men from the traditional yogas who had pioneered brilliant passageways within. But outside, it is alleged, their lives were a mess. Underlying this, I believe, lay almost a contempt for all things pertaining to the physical plane. In the Integral Yoga we are taught that the transformation must descend into the most material. So I feel that it is essential that we at least try to create some order in matter around us. There can be a beauty, too, in form as well as the formless. Harmony can radiate outside into ordinary life once it has found its home within. I don’t believe anyone can claim to be fully realised in this yoga until he has found a way of integrating this inner harmony with his outer actions. I feel it is only really a question of making that link.
Once I realised this, I began to understand that harmony can indeed spread all around me. I can then become vaster and more capable of transmitting love. The Mother says that we are surrounded by what we think. So if I establish these conditions inside, then the world outside automatically resonates to this light too. Everything, She states, is but a reflection of our inner state.
“The method of the Divine Manifestation is through calm and harmony,” writes Sri Aurobindo, “not through a catastrophic upheaval(8).” So, like many of us here, I often feel my life to be a preparation for something much greater to descend. The transformation, Sri Aurobindo affirms, can only come when these two forces reign. It is almost as if they nestle between its very wings. In this way I hope to become a vessel for the Mother’s golden touch.
A harmony must be created inside me and all around me: the two movements go hand in hand. It is by following my truth that harmony
arrives and it is through calm, I believe, that harmony will finally settle. I feel that nothing worthwhile can be achieved without it. This harmony can descend into the most material, but it has to be nurtured and protected. It can easily be lost and I don’t feel it comes overnight.
Finally I feel, harmony invites the appearance of beauty: beauty in form as well as beauty in the formless. Beauty is its face, its very stamp. So if I were to be granted just one aspiration in this life, it might be summarised in the Mother’s own words:
“Build in yourself the total harmony, so that when the time comes Perfect Beauty can express itself through your body(9).”
