Rays of hope —
By Alok Pandey
Doctor
Death means much more than the cessation of bodily life. It raises several issues within the mind of the person who faces it. It challenges our established world-view and touches upon some deeply painful knots within us. This part has been written mainly with a view to the common questions that those in the grips of a difficult, 'incurable', terminal illness often ask. The questions have been culled from the actual reaction from real people. They may not cover all issues but are meant to touch upon some of the main issues that spring up in our encounter with death.
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1. Can I live long enough to see my children settled in life?
It is only natural to want to live long enough to see our children settled. We should try with whatever means are at hand, such as medication, our own will and faith, to try and prolong life. But we must not forget that none of us has the final say in the ways of destiny. So it is best to do what we can for ourselves and our children and leave the rest in God’s wise unseen hands.
What we can do still for our children and their future is to write a will. We should also give them love and hope in life so that when we are no more around, they can feel strengthened by our love. Most of all we should pray for them, with an aspiration that their future may be good and bright and their life free from troubles and difficulties. If we do this with sincerity then even after we are gone, the vibrations of goodwill and care and the response of God’s Grace will continue to shelter and nurture them through ways and means we cannot comprehend at present. This is what we can do and should do. The rest is not in our hands and we should learn to accept with serenity the ways of fate that come our way.
Remember the way you meet this difficult moment of crisis in your life will be a lifelong education for your children. If they see you break down and lose faith and courage; if they feel around you an atmosphere of depression and gloom they would react the same way towards life and develop a field of negativity around them which will pull them down in the face of every difficulty. Whereas if they see you face life and its difficulties with courage and faith they will not only respect you for that but also carry it as strength in their hearts when you are no longer there beside them. That will become your parting gift to them, a priceless gift no money can buy, a gift that will help them immensely in their future.
2. Can you do something to help me live till my daughter is married off?
We always try to prolong life and it is right to do so. Together we shall try to see how far we can push the disease. We will try with medication and care, you can try with positive thoughts and faith. But we must remember that as with all things the final result does not lie in our hands. Yes, we will try our best but also learn to accept certain things calmly. Time does not wait for any of us. But while we may or may not be present physically in the future, we can still do something about it. Our mind and will can extend into the future and instead of filling it with apprehensions and fears, fill it with beautiful images. We can imagine that your daughter is getting married off in the best of circumstances, to a good man who will take care of her. We can also equip her with positive thoughts and energies so that she can face the future boldly with courage and confidence. We can pray to God to take care of her when we are no longer present and hand over the responsibility to God to whom everything already belongs. This will
