Medicine's Red HerringVolume 21, Issue 1
Administratium
By Anonymous - Apr 24, 2013
The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered at the Watson Research Center. The element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons and so has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice-neutrons and 111 assistant vice-neutrons. This gives it an atomic weight of 312. These 312 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.